yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize