that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
