thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
