I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
