The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
