i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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