Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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