You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
