Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Two words: blizzard sex
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
