the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She said her name was "party"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
