should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
