i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
