I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
