You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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