I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
