Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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