I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
