lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
