we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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