we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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