All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
