Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
