just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
