how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
