yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im holly from the hills drunk
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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