She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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