How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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