we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
