I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
