I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
