so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
