i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize