Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
