Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He has the fingertips of a God
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