Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
