Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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