im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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