Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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