How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
