My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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