Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
