so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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