why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
