I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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