I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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