oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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