I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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