she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
