don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
