I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
