dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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