Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
