dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
