I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
