i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
